I enjoy sports. A long time ago when someone said that, it meant he or she liked to play sports. Things have changed over the years. Somewhere along the line we decided it was easier to watch someone else play. Later we found it was more fun to watch if we were simultaneously cramming fat-laden [...]
Archive for June, 2009
Sports Devolution
Posted in Uncategorized on June 29, 2009 | 1 Comment »
Keeping Score
Posted in Uncategorized on June 19, 2009 | 3 Comments »
My dad and I both like to keep track of things. (Much like Rain Man.) Unbeknownst to Dad, I’ve been secretly documenting his life for years and here are the numbers: 586 – Hours that Dad has spent wading through weeds, rocks, and swamps searching for my golf ball while his ball sunned itself in [...]
The Adventures of Myron J. Noodlestein (Chapter 5)
Posted in Uncategorized on June 18, 2009 | 1 Comment »
[Back in Chapter 2 Myron “met” the woman of his dreams at a bar.] On Sunday Myron decided it was time to take his relationship with T.O. (The One) to the next level. A letter seemed the best way to accomplish this. Myron decided to call on his best friend Doug for help. After all, [...]
20/20 Vision of the Future
Posted in Uncategorized on June 17, 2009 | 2 Comments »
Last weekend some friends invited me to see a psychic. For five bucks you get a quick reading. I’m kind of a skeptic, but I decided to check it out. An alias will be used for the main character to protect her identity. I’ll call her Psychic Suzie (PS). Before PS sat down to do [...]
My Stupidest Accomplishment – Part 2
Posted in Uncategorized on June 16, 2009 | 1 Comment »
[When Part 1 ended, L’exi and I and five others were on our way to a skydiving attempt and what I assumed was certain death.] We arrived at the Winterset airport about 9 AM. I was counting on the whole ordeal being over by 11:00, but they could only handle one of us at a [...]
Dog Tired
Posted in Uncategorized on June 15, 2009 | 1 Comment »
[Joe Kack called in dog tired this morning. He will return tomorrow with the conclusion of "My Stupidest Accomplishment".] — Joe Kack’s boss
The Adventures of Myron J. Noodlestein (Chapter 4)
Posted in Uncategorized on June 12, 2009 | 2 Comments »
[In Chapter 3, Myron’s best friend Doug was introduced.] Myron had lived in Stenchville his entire existence of 41 years. The town was big enough to have a last place minor league hockey team but not much else. You may recall that Myron’s best friend Doug is employed as the club’s Zamboni machine driver. The [...]
My Stupidest Accomplishment – Part 1
Posted in Uncategorized on June 11, 2009 | 3 Comments »
What was I thinking? A few years ago my girlfriend-at-the-time L’exi came home from work and told me of a great opportunity. Her friend Zelda was organizing a skydiving outing and, guess what, we were invited! Thanks a lot Zelda. L’exi was in, but I decided to mull it over a while. Well, I mulled [...]
You Say Potato
Posted in Uncategorized on June 10, 2009 | 5 Comments »
One time I was in North Carolina and tried to buy a stocking hat to ward off the bitter cold. They didn’t know what the heck I was talking about. Turns out what we call a stocking hat, they call a toboggan. Which of course is just wrong. We all know a toboggan is a [...]
Homer Says
Posted in Uncategorized on June 9, 2009 | 2 Comments »
A few of my favorite Homer Simpson quotes: Trying is the first step to failure. It’s not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day. I want to share something with you – the three sentences that will get you [...]
